Now,that's just SICK!

I have this theory...stop me if I'm wrong...but it seems that both the AOD and the hometown Columbus Blue Jackets have been "streaky" all season long. A strange parallel,really,when you think about it. If memory serves me well every time the Blue Jackets have played poorly the AOD have played well. At times while the Jackets have managed to gel and put a few wins together the the AOD can't seem to "click". It is my belief that the Columbus Blue Jackets are sucking the souls or "positive energy" out of innocent victims to use for their own personal gain! Probably through some kind of skin to skin contact.....shaking the hands of their fans and so on. Or maybe a little fancier like those "dementors" in that Harry Potter movie or that evil Egyptian,soul-sucking mummy in Bubba Ho-Tep. Take the inserted picture for example. This poor bastard didn't even know it was coming! This was taken at a local hospital in late december! They probably went all up and down all the local hospitals just feeding on the innocent!!! Kneeling over their naive victims,grabbing hold and sucking that little ball of goodness and energy and light out of their trembling,weary body! And as you recall they did put that incredible month of hockey together shortly after in january! Simultaneously the AOD dropped a couple of games they really should have won! Coincidence? I think not! That is why I am going on the record here and I am strongly urging all residents of columbus to STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THESE SOUL & KARMA FEEDING FREAKS!!! Don't go to the games! Don't go to the stupid,little hockey fests! And for godsakes when you see Marc Denis buying a marble mocha macchiato in starbucks don't go up and shake his hand and tell him it's nice to meet him!!! And if you do...if you absolutely have to...WEAR GLOVES!!! This guy's a soul sucker! Remember?! That's how they do it!!! By touching you! Or by looking you in the eyes. Or by opening their mouth and just sucking your soul out of your nostrils or mouth or eyes...I can't figure it out just yet. Remember that,kids!